Life, Relationship, Heart Clinic

  Have you ever experienced a moment where your effort didn’t match the outcome? May I ask what that experience taught you about life and resilience? While we were kids, we grew up believing life is a sequence of steps; Work hard, be good, follow the "set rules", and success will follow. But the truth is that reality is messier. You can do "everything right", study diligently, act kindly, make responsible choices, and still face setbacks, rejections, and disappointments. Meanwhile, someone else may do everything “wrong,” take shortcuts, ignore the "said rules", and still fall into success as if fortune guided them by the hand. That will definitely make us feel that life is unfair. But the truth is that life is not mathematics. It’s art. It is chaos wrapped in grace. It’s timing, opportunity, intuition, courage, luck and grace.  Fact check: Success is not a reward exclusively given to the deserving, and failure is not punishment for being insufficient. Some...

  Do you know how deep a stone thrown in the river will sink? No! you can’t truly see how deep it sinks. All you see is the splash… but the real impact happens out of sight. It’s the same with our words. You know what you said, but you don’t always know how deeply it affected someone, how far the hurt travelled, or how long the impact of what you said will last. Words are like eggs. Once they fall, they break. No matter how hard we try, they can never be put back exactly the same. The same goes for things we say. Once the words leave our mouths, they cannot be unsaid, reversed, or forgotten. This is why we must be mindful of what comes out of our mouth, especially in moments of anger, frustration, or stress. A single thoughtless sentence can create a damage far deeper than we intended. We've seen this play out in different ways in real life. A long friendship can begin to crumble because of a hurtful remark spoken in the heat of an argument. The same applies in families. Where pare...

There’s a popular saying that “if you work hard enough, you’ll succeed”. Hmmm, the truth about life is that it doesn’t always play out that simple. Imagine two people, one born into a family that can afford the best schools, best of everything and connections, and the other one who grows up in a small town with limited or no resources. Both may work hard, but the one with more opportunities often has an easier path to success. It’s not because the second person is lazy or less capable, it’s just that life didn’t give them the same starting point. Sometimes, success comes from being at the right place at the right time. A person might get a great job because they met the right person or had access to information others did not. Meanwhile, another equally hardworking person might be overlooked, simply because they did not have those same chances (Nepo and Lapo kids). Luck and opportunity often walk hand in hand with effort, even if or when we don’t like to admit it. On the other hand, it...

Last night, while scrolling through Facebook, I stumbled on a post titled “Same Classroom, Different Futures” shared by my former secondary school teacher, Miss. Osewa. The moment I read it, something inside me stirred, and I couldn’t shake it off. I knew I had to share my own reflection. Thinking back, I remember there was a time when many of us began our journeys in the same place, went to the same school, wore the same uniforms, listened to the same lessons, and wrote the same exams that determined our ranks and performance. Back then, life felt so straightforward. We assumed that starting together meant we would somehow end up in similar places or we will all do great in our field. But the truth is that life has its own script for everyone, and each chapters unfolds in ways we never expected. Looking around that classroom years ago, none of us could have predicted how life would shape us. Hmmm, no one could tell who would rise financially, who would struggle, who would battle silen...

  As humans, we’ve all been hurt by someone’s words or actions. Like a rude comment, a cold attitude, or an unfair judgment. The fact is that our first instinct will be to get angry or take it personally. But as we grow emotionally, we begin to see things differently. We start to understand that most people don’t act out of hatred, they act out of pain. Emotional intelligence teaches us to look beyond behavior and see the story behind it. To recognize that sometimes, the person in front of us might not be as cruel as we thought, but they are just wounded. And when we understand that, everything changes. When you become emotionally smart, you start seeing people differently. You stop hating or getting angry at people easily because you understand why they act the way they do. Many times, when people hurt you or behave badly, it’s not really about you. It’s about the pain they carry inside. You might see an adult, but deep down, they’re a wounded child who never healed from their pas...

  A healthy relationship is not a race, a contest, or a game where one person has to win. Yet, many couples unknowingly slip into patterns of competition. Like keeping mental tallies of who gives more, who earns more, or who sacrifices more. While all of this things may start out small, this mindset quietly and gradually destroy trust and connection. The truth is simple, when you commit to someone, you join forces and become one. Your partner’s success is not your failure, and your growth is not their threat. Whether it is career, or personal achievements, celebrating each other’s wins strengthens the relationship. You don’t lose anything by cheering them on. Instead you both gain a stronger bond. Competition in love often shows up in subtle ways without our knowledge. For example, maybe you start noticing who apologizes first, who contributes more financially, or who puts in more effort with chores. Over time, this “scoreboard mentality” breeds resentment. Instead of working toget...

Life, it has a way of surprising us in ways we least expected. Sometimes those surprises are joyful, and other times they feel like the ground has been pulled from beneath our feet. Like a job suddenly lost, or a relationship ending, amongst others. These moments can leave us shaken, questioning our worth, and unsure about where or how to begin again. But note this, starting over is not just an ending, it’s an invitation to rewrite your story. The truth is, it's hard. But before you can move forward, you need to allow yourself to grieve what’s gone. Whether it’s the comfort of a steady paycheck that pay the bills, or the relationship you thought lead to marriage, loss is real. Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Cry if you need to. Journal your thoughts. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist. Naming and acknowledging the pain is the first step to releasing it. Major life changes can strip away the roles and daily routines that once defined you. You need to ask yourself some s...

Life is full of opinions. Friends warn us about certain people, coworkers share stories about colleagues, and social media spreads rumors in seconds. But note that everyone is more than what other people say about them. It is easy to form impressions based on the opinions of others. Colleagues, friends, relatives, neighbors or social circles may share negative experiences or warnings about people, but I want you to know that there is always more to a person than what other people say about them. Relying only on hearsay can close doors to valuable relationships and opportunities that could benefit you personally or professionally. An example is my real life experience with a family friend who close relatives and neighbors marked as “too proud and not willing to help". But when I decided to meet him in person to try my luck about needing a job, I met a warm, generous person who after few weeks, helped me secure a job opportunity I desperately needed. That experience taught me a last...

Having good and genuine friends is among life’s greatest gifts, but the sad truth is that not all friendships are meant to last forever. Some people come into our lives only for a short period of time, either as a blessing or as a lesson. They offer support, lessons, or companionship when we need it the most. When these types of relationships fades, it is easy to feel hurt and start wondering what went wrong.  Friendships, just like the seasons, have their own time and purpose. Some friends are with us for years, while others may walk alongside us for a short period of time. These friendships may offer happiness, support, growth, or even be an obstacle. The truth is, their value is not measured by how long they last, but by the impact they have in shaping us during that particular stage of life. It is natural to feel hurt when a friendship fades, but it is important to remember that not every relationship is meant to last forever. Many of these relationships exists to guide us thro...