Life, Relationship, Heart Clinic

There’s a popular saying that “if you work hard enough, you’ll succeed”. Hmmm, the truth about life is that it doesn’t always play out that simple. Imagine two people, one born into a family that can afford the best schools, best of everything and connections, and the other one who grows up in a small town with limited or no resources. Both may work hard, but the one with more opportunities often has an easier path to success. It’s not because the second person is lazy or less capable, it’s just that life didn’t give them the same starting point. Sometimes, success comes from being at the right place at the right time. A person might get a great job because they met the right person or had access to information others did not. Meanwhile, another equally hardworking person might be overlooked, simply because they did not have those same chances (Nepo and Lapo kids). Luck and opportunity often walk hand in hand with effort, even if or when we don’t like to admit it. On the other hand, it...

Last night, while scrolling through Facebook, I stumbled on a post titled “Same Classroom, Different Futures” shared by my former secondary school teacher, Miss. Osewa. The moment I read it, something inside me stirred, and I couldn’t shake it off. I knew I had to share my own reflection. Thinking back, I remember there was a time when many of us began our journeys in the same place, went to the same school, wore the same uniforms, listened to the same lessons, and wrote the same exams that determined our ranks and performance. Back then, life felt so straightforward. We assumed that starting together meant we would somehow end up in similar places or we will all do great in our field. But the truth is that life has its own script for everyone, and each chapters unfolds in ways we never expected. Looking around that classroom years ago, none of us could have predicted how life would shape us. Hmmm, no one could tell who would rise financially, who would struggle, who would battle silen...

  As humans, we’ve all been hurt by someone’s words or actions. Like a rude comment, a cold attitude, or an unfair judgment. The fact is that our first instinct will be to get angry or take it personally. But as we grow emotionally, we begin to see things differently. We start to understand that most people don’t act out of hatred, they act out of pain. Emotional intelligence teaches us to look beyond behavior and see the story behind it. To recognize that sometimes, the person in front of us might not be as cruel as we thought, but they are just wounded. And when we understand that, everything changes. When you become emotionally smart, you start seeing people differently. You stop hating or getting angry at people easily because you understand why they act the way they do. Many times, when people hurt you or behave badly, it’s not really about you. It’s about the pain they carry inside. You might see an adult, but deep down, they’re a wounded child who never healed from their pas...

  A healthy relationship is not a race, a contest, or a game where one person has to win. Yet, many couples unknowingly slip into patterns of competition. Like keeping mental tallies of who gives more, who earns more, or who sacrifices more. While all of this things may start out small, this mindset quietly and gradually destroy trust and connection. The truth is simple, when you commit to someone, you join forces and become one. Your partner’s success is not your failure, and your growth is not their threat. Whether it is career, or personal achievements, celebrating each other’s wins strengthens the relationship. You don’t lose anything by cheering them on. Instead you both gain a stronger bond. Competition in love often shows up in subtle ways without our knowledge. For example, maybe you start noticing who apologizes first, who contributes more financially, or who puts in more effort with chores. Over time, this “scoreboard mentality” breeds resentment. Instead of working toget...

Life, it has a way of surprising us in ways we least expected. Sometimes those surprises are joyful, and other times they feel like the ground has been pulled from beneath our feet. Like a job suddenly lost, or a relationship ending, amongst others. These moments can leave us shaken, questioning our worth, and unsure about where or how to begin again. But note this, starting over is not just an ending, it’s an invitation to rewrite your story. The truth is, it's hard. But before you can move forward, you need to allow yourself to grieve what’s gone. Whether it’s the comfort of a steady paycheck that pay the bills, or the relationship you thought lead to marriage, loss is real. Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Cry if you need to. Journal your thoughts. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist. Naming and acknowledging the pain is the first step to releasing it. Major life changes can strip away the roles and daily routines that once defined you. You need to ask yourself some s...

Life is full of opinions. Friends warn us about certain people, coworkers share stories about colleagues, and social media spreads rumors in seconds. But note that everyone is more than what other people say about them. It is easy to form impressions based on the opinions of others. Colleagues, friends, relatives, neighbors or social circles may share negative experiences or warnings about people, but I want you to know that there is always more to a person than what other people say about them. Relying only on hearsay can close doors to valuable relationships and opportunities that could benefit you personally or professionally. An example is my real life experience with a family friend who close relatives and neighbors marked as “too proud and not willing to help". But when I decided to meet him in person to try my luck about needing a job, I met a warm, generous person who after few weeks, helped me secure a job opportunity I desperately needed. That experience taught me a last...

Having good and genuine friends is among life’s greatest gifts, but the sad truth is that not all friendships are meant to last forever. Some people come into our lives only for a short period of time, either as a blessing or as a lesson. They offer support, lessons, or companionship when we need it the most. When these types of relationships fades, it is easy to feel hurt and start wondering what went wrong.  Friendships, just like the seasons, have their own time and purpose. Some friends are with us for years, while others may walk alongside us for a short period of time. These friendships may offer happiness, support, growth, or even be an obstacle. The truth is, their value is not measured by how long they last, but by the impact they have in shaping us during that particular stage of life. It is natural to feel hurt when a friendship fades, but it is important to remember that not every relationship is meant to last forever. Many of these relationships exists to guide us thro...

The Conditional Nature of Loyalty are relationships where commitment is based on transactional benefits, not deep connection. Which means that loyalty ends when those benefits cease. Many people believe loyalty is permanent, but in reality, most loyalty is tied to benefits. As long as you are giving, helping, or providing something of value, people will stay close. The real test comes when you can no longer offer those benefits. That is when you discover who values you for who you are, not just for what you bring to the table or give to them.  Think about the workplace. Employees often look loyal to their company, but that loyalty usually depends on pay, promotions, or benefits. The moment a better opportunity comes along, many will leave. On the other side, companies also show their loyalties as long as employees are productive. Once an employee's performance drops, the company's loyalty ends quickly. This proves that loyalty in business is often conditional, built on exchange...

We live in a world where everyone wants to share every of their wins or their milestones online. What you do not know is that there is real power in keeping your plans to yourselves. Listen, when you stay quiet about your goals, you shield yourself from hatred, jealousy, negative energy and opinions of others.  When you are ascending to the next level, not all eyes or mouths cheering you on are sincere. Some people feel threatened, while "some people like you better when you are broken, below them or on the same level as they are.” By sharing too early, you risk giving this set of people something to attack. As one powerful expression puts it: When you build in silence, they don't know what to attack. Build in silence and let your success make the noise. Moving in silence doesn’t mean you’re hiding; you are simply protecting and honoring your next-level self. Every quiet effort accumulates power; every discreet triumph builds legacy. “Working hard in silence, and letting your ...