Not Everyone Who Goes Silent Has Forgotten You

 

As I grow older, I have come to realize that NOT everyone who goes quiet has stopped caring. Sometimes they are just trying to survive. One of the unhealthy lessons social media has taught many of us is to keep score in our relationships.

We keep mental records of who checks on us and who doesn't. We count who called last. We notice who viewed our status but didn't react. We remember who didn't wish us a happy birthday.  And when someone goes silent, we often jump to one conclusion: "They have forgotten me!"

But life is not that simple.

Many people are fighting battles they never talk about. Some are struggling financially; some are caring for sick ones; while some are battling anxiety, disappointment, grief, job rejection, health issues and uncertainty about their future. Some wake up every day and focus solely on making it through the next twenty four hours... Yes, that's how tough life can get for some people.

In moments like these, returning calls, sending messages, and maintaining friendships sometimes fall to the bottom of their list. It's not because people do not care, no. It's simply because they are overwhelmed by everything. The truth is that we often judge people based on what we can see while ignoring everything we cannot. We see the silence, but not see the struggle behind it. This does not mean people should neglect their relationships. It simply means we should be slower to assume the worst when someone becomes distant.

Instead of saying, If they cared, they would have called. Ask yourself this, I wonder what they might be going through... Instead of waiting for people to reach out, sometimes be the one who sends the first message. A simple How are you doing? can mean more than we realize.

The older I get, the more I understand that life humbles everyone eventually... The strong becomes tired. The cheerful becomes burdened. The people who always seem to have life figured out sometimes struggle the most in silence. Life is already hard enough. That is why compassion matters. A little kindness can go a long way.

You never know what battle someone is fighting behind their silence until you reach out. So before you assume they have forgotten you, choose understanding over judgment. Send that message. Make that call. Sometimes the people who seem distant are simply carrying burdens too heavy to share, and your kindness may be the reminder they need that they are not alone.

Maidenwura